ILLUMINAtE concerts

As many of you know I was going to write a blog about this guy who I thought was my friend, who took things a little to far and got caught.  Basically I was going to go on and on about how awful he was and decided against it.  Although we are all sinners and make mistakes there are some of us that repent and move on.  He made a public Facebook status  yesterday (again knowing I was going to blog about it so he knew he was going to get caught, again) and many friends sent me the statement and was just amazed about him making excuses and even lying about the whole situation.  I then decided that I wasn’t even going to blog about it.  After a lot of prayer and quiet time I felt like even though this whole situation happened it taught me to be very careful who I invest my time with, who I feel called to engage with and who to share my faith with.  We as Christians are supposed to be modeling a life just like Jesus.  We are supposed to be imitating our lives just as He lived when he was on earth.  Looking through these blogs all I am doing is complaining all of the time.  That stinks.  That is NOT how He intends me to live.  I follow Him, not friends, shows, ministries and all the other stuff along the way.  So actually I can thank this creeper because I learned something, actually a few things.

#1:  Why would anybody want to be a Christian or support what I am doing with our nonprofit if I am constantly complaining and have this “bad attitude” about it?  Why would they want what I have if it is negative all of the time?  Jesus calls us ALL to be disciples of Him and make more disciples by showing His light in us to others.  That is why I named our nonprofit ILLUMINAtE, wanting to bring LIGHT and HOPE to the darkest parts of KC.  Again, not what I am doing.

#2:  When in times of struggle go to Him, not Facebook friends.  I was reading the bible, other Christian books, seeing a therapist, the list goes on and on but when it came down to it when I was at my lowest this guy was always popping up with a text or message.  I didn’t have the accountability with my close group of friends, not because they weren’t there but because I chose not to tell them.  Again, in all fairness I was under the impression that myself  and this guy were just friends and he was a Christ follower.   I have A LOT of friends in the CCM biz but this one isn’t really in that biz anymore and I should of known better.  Again, I never did anything out of line to where I have regrets, except thinking this person was my friend, telling him everything, really personal stuff going on in my life and now regretting it.  Those were secrets from my heart and thought he was someone, a close friend I could share those with.

#3:  Hope.  I know there is hope.  I know we aren’t home yet so have to live on this sinful earth until we do.  I see hope in Him, I listen for Him and feel Him in me.  Three mornings ago I felt this wave of forgiveness just wash over me during my quiet time just as the sun was coming up.  I  know that was Him telling me I am forgiven.  Forgiven for what?  All of it.  I just cried and cried, almost to the point of being delirious.  No matter what Jesus knows I love Him.  That it is an endless love that no person, situation or silly musician can break, hurt or make me have doubts.  Jesus just wants me closer to Him.  Jesus wants us all to be “fishers of men” just as Jesus called Peter.  I want Jesus, bottom line.  No matter what goes on I want Him to be smiling down upon me and showering my family and I with kisses and I know how I get that.  I get closer to Him.  I read His word, I listen for His voice and I follow His lead.  Many of you have been praying for my family, ILLUMINAtE and myself and want you to know those prayers are what lifts me up.  The power of prayer is more powerful than any other thing I have seen or witnessed.  I want you to know how much that means to me and how grateful I am to have a group of people who actually cares.  

Love conquers ALL.  Jesus is love so that means He is calling the shots in my life, all of them.  For Him, always.  Amen.

So an interesting week…

Last Friday night I got the honor of seeing Jeremy Riddle at Vineyard up North and what a truly TALENTED and HUMBLE guy.  His voice, incredible, his lyrics SO powerful and the 1000 people there were in tears and just felt His presence.  After the show I talked to Jeremy and I believe he said he was expecting his fifth child and asked him about his agency, management etc. and he looked at me and said that he wasn’t going to be doing much touring at all and the time away from his family wasn’t worth it and truly loves being a worship leader at Bethel.  (who wouldn’t right?)  I LOVED it because I was with 3 of my BEST friends and my core team and so loved just attending a show and not having to do any of the behind the scenes stuff I am usually dealing with. He sang three of the four songs that are my favorites and was just an amazing night of worship.  

Then on Sunday night I saw a band in Lawrence called Oh Sleeper.  Now I am old and grew up listening to punk rock, not metal or screamer bands. I liked bands like The Misfits, The Ramones, Black Flag, and The Dead Kennedys.  So one of my favorite agents in the biz gets me and a friend in this show and OMGosh is all I am going to say. The Granada was PACKED!!!  It brought back some memories because I have honestly not been there since my partying days and being sober since March 18, 2000 things in there haven’t changed much.  There had to have been close to 600 fans in there, a mosh pit and this band (who is QUITE talented by the way) has a huge following and people singing (or screaming) every lyric to every song they sang.  I was luckily in front of the one guy (Shane I think) who actually sings, the other guy screams.  I actually texted the agent a picture of Shane and told him I liked his voice and he thought that was pretty funny.   Anyway… after the show I met with the band and they too SUPER nice, thanked us for coming, I told them I had mad respect for their agent and they did too and it was fun.  I think I am getting to old for shows like that one but was glad I went.  They are a Christian band, just spreading His word in a unique way so much love for that.

So Mat Kearney played at The Beaumont Club on Tuesday night.  I got to go with one of my best friends Emily and had never seen Mat live although LOVE his music.  I do know that Mat is one of those artists like Jon Foreman that is a “Christian” artist but is played in the secular world too.  I do know that once Mat jumped over to the secular world he just SOARED.  He recently beat Adelle on iTunes, he was on the Racheal Ray show (did I even spell that right?) and even shot his music video for Ships In the Night here in KC. Do Christian bands make music videos?  If they do then where do we see them?  I think that what I am getting at with Mat is #1 he has MAD talent.  ILLUMINAtE had a show with Shawn McDonald in December and he and Mat are pretty close friends and I asked Shawn about why Mat jumped over to the other side and he told me things that I could of already guessed before.  I also asked Shawn about what he liked and listened to and to be honest a lot of it wasn’t Christian music.  It was positive and uplifting but a lot of Indie bands and artists like that.  He was just SO grateful that the CCM radio and scene had embraced his music SO much but told me the ways he saw God and His beauty in such simple things like nature and photos. (Shawn is a REALLY good photographer if you didn’t know).  So not to babble about Shawn but he is one of my favorite musicians I have ever talked with, he has struggled in this industry with some criticism and that man truly praises God in his songs.  He is humble, he trembles and is legit.  So back to Mat.  I can’t tell you how many people were at that show but it had to have been 1000. He was entertaining, he was energetic and was funny to see so many different styles of radio vans parked outside the venue.  

I guess where I am getting at is you can see God and all of his glory in all different types of ways.  I saw it in three TOTALLY different styles of music this week and now that my hearing is coming back, slowly I am trying to ponder all of it.  I had other moments with Him, several this week early in the morning and have gotten back on track with my spiritual path with Him which needs to be first and foremost at all times.  Seeing these shows this week showed me a few things. People can worship him in SO many ways.  I saw it in three TOTALLY different and UNIQUE ways through music.  I love that.  I saw Him when I bought a homeless guy a piece of pizza from Joe’s after leaving Mat Kearney and him saying God bless you and not smelling liquor on his breath.  I see it in my children when they ask me about why Jesus had to die and then when I explain Him resurrecting and making life everlasting for us by his grace the giggles and the smiles that just explode from their faces.  I see it when my youth pastor invites me and all of the other leaders to his home and wants to invest time in us every week in a huddle so that we are prepared to disciple our youth.  

Please just PRAY for us and our ministry, please help support us by spreading the word about our shows.  Please buy merch from these bands stores to help them, please just pray that we can keep doing what we are doing in KC and let anyone and everyone know about our shows.  We as a nonprofit are doing this for Him, always.  NO other reason. Peace to you all!!!

     ILLUMINAtE concerts is a 501C3 nonprofit devoting ourselves to to bring LIVE but affordable music to the Kansas CIty area to INSPIRE and ENLIGHTEN individuals to churches.  We had our first show last March and are just being led by Him.  He has just BLESSED this ministry and have amazing people who volunteer their time to help see ILLUMINAtE grow.  We have been blessed to partner with Premier Productions and have a booth at Winter Jam In Kansas City in February.   We just recently announced our March 18th show featuring SHONLOCK and Hyland.  ($8 guys, really?)  We feel more people come to Him through the ministry of music and have seen atheists become believers, alter calls and poetic scripture at our shows.  

     Our biggest problem as a ministry is making people aware of our shows.  So please, if you are in the area tell anyone and everyone about our shows coming up. We have done everything so far with zero grants or sponsors.  We just recently got blessed with a donation although SO grateful it doesn’t put a dent in the debt my husband and I have acquired.  I have sold everything I have for this ministry and feel Him pulling me right back to it, even when the stress, and frustration feels like I can’t do it anymore.  Please PRAY for us and PRAY we are centered on Him and what He is calling us to do.  Peace and blessings to all!!!